At Gentleman Zone, we know that there is a fine line between odd flirting and romance like a true gent. But what draws it? Where does oomph start and creepiness end? What is the best way to flirt and is there one best way to flirt like a gentleman?
With coquetry, we all take our own approach and one or a combo of different tactics. With the immense interconnectivity of chats and dating apps with people being a single click away, how we approach and treat the ones we fancy is a subject of ever-growing skepticism and doubt.
While some like to play it cool and smooth by dropping a lab-tested pickup line, others act rough without realizing that this might just not be the perfect way to win a heart. While some can romance naturally, others either take it too far or start off too far away and end up banging a wall.
So, how to master the art of gentlemanly seduction?
With a bit of practice and a mindset after the big picture, you might as well be the next George Clooney, Brad Pitt, or Ryan Gosling!
Let’s have a look at the rules on how gentlemen seduce:
Start with Politeness & Courtesy
You might have seen plenty of ways in which men (or women) flirt and seduce women (or men), so remember that everything starts with a respectful and polite attitude.
In case you want to impress a lady or gent and spark interest, being rude or full of yourself is simply not going to work. Your one sure bet is to show your gentlemanly manners and be polite not only towards him or her but also to people nearby.
Being well-mannered with others on the table, in the bar, on the street, or wherever you two come together is the best way to testify that’s who you are and not a cliche attempt to act like someone you ain’t.
Treat the server, bartender, or other staff with respect so that your chosen one sees that you’re the “real deal”.
Respect is a Must
The golden rule of the gentleman flirt is to show respect.
Respect to the one you fancy, to people around you, to people in stories you talk about, and even animals and plant life.
More importantly, don’t come off as a judgmental prick – this is not a personality trait you want to assign to your profile, right?
Be Honest & Upfront
People value you for sincerity, and in this crazy world that we live in, this comes as a refreshment. Give a compliment or two, but make sure those come from within and not your average desperate cheesy pickup line. Be frank about what you find charming in whom you want to romance and stay away from diving too deep. Imagine honesty like a gentle breeze.
The best way to win someone’s heart is by being the best version of yourself.
Drop the Cheesy Vibe or Risk Losing the Flirt
Let’s be honest. Cheesy comments and cliches do not really work, or if one does, it’s a 1% expectation to the 99% rule rather than a meaningful move.
At worst, you’ll end up building a rapport as a person who’s annoying, revolting, or worse – one that needs a block or public disrespect.
No one wants a drink in the face, a wrathful slap, or a facial expression of disgust.
Drop Lusty Comments, Dirty Jokes, & Awkward Proposals
If you haven’t met yet, the rule of the gentlemen flirt says to stay away from nudes, asking for such or irrelevant comments of what makes you horny. Unless, that is, you want to ruin everything and kill romance for good.
Strive to Connect on a Personal Level
Common grounds is the foundation of negotiations, and flirting is just like going to war.
Find your way to the person you want to romance and figure out what and how can bring you two together. Be it friends, hobbies, common fate, or maybe something else?
Be Patient to the Point when Ready to Date
The online “me” is a walled garden of comfort and safety. That’s why most people out there would be insecure to jump on straight to dating. Why? Because of self-doubt and self-esteem.
It’s where opportunities lie for the genuine gentleman flirt. Play on that. Ask questions of previous relationships and dating experience but hold on with invites. Say it without saying it, remember? Be cautious.
Know When it’s OK to Talk about Sex
Sex shouldn’t be the first topic that falls out of your mouth when onto a flirt. As a matter of fact, the best way to say it is without saying it.
Slowly getting to the gentleman sex topic is boiling, so make sure you play this the right way. Once you are 100% sure that both of you are on the same page and that interest is there, you can go the extra mile and mention that you enjoy an occasional visit to an adult shop where you can find something to make your sex life more enjoyable. If you do this the right way, the person you romance will undoubtedly find you rather exciting and different from all the others before you.
You want to show them who you are as a person first, and only then, when you see that the sex talk is something both of you want to talk about, you can discuss the things that you like or dislike.
However, make sure that you’re not pushy – this is something that can kill the flirt.
Practice the Old Gentleman Ways
We want to break the stereotypes about men and women, but sometimes we love being seduced the old-school way.
So, be chivalrous. Always drop her off and make sure that you open her door and take her home safely.
Also, do not try to push any topics that she doesn’t want to talk about. Take it smoothly, and show her that you can be her best friend (don’t worry, you won’t get friend-zoned because of this).
Moreover, if you have landed a second date, start it with a fresh bouquet – ladies love these small tokens of appreciation.
Know-How to Flirt Online
But there is a big difference between flirting in person and flirting online. In case you want to flirt with someone online, there are a few things that you need to know.
Use Your Real Photo & Name
In the same vein, practice the honesty policy, and always say what you mean and mean what you say. Give a compliment here and there (but an honest one), but always stay true to what you think and who you are.
In case you flirt in-person and then move to a social network, keep the same atmosphere. Talk about the same things, send a link to a video or an article on the topic that you already discussed (this will show that you’re a good listener and that you remember the topics), be gentle and sleek.
Chat Privately via DM & Inbox Only
Avoid comments or direct messages on a public profile, no matter what social media it is. Putting the time and attention into personal communication is your first sign of dedication.
Flirting Online Needs Photos & Video
If the person you want to seduce likes your own photos, videos, and stories, think about getting more of that. Nothing works better to build up lust and desire.
Flirting in Person
Choose your playground carefully. Planning your first date in the gym, the office, or in the middle of the street, just won’t do. If it happens by accident, hold your front and mind what borders you can cross, and where things would get out of hand.
That’s why it’s best to plan and lead. If you want to flirt like a gentleman, you have to lead. Pick up a neat and cozy bar, cafe, or restaurant. Aim for privacy and comfort.
But not all the time. Your smile is your best weapon when meeting face to face, so use it wisely. To grin all the time is a bad idea.
Still, draw attention to your lips whenever possible, because that’s a subconscious signal working in your favor. Touch your chin every here and there, form the kiss shape, when expressing doubt, or keep your glass nearby for a while before you take a sip.
Gentlemen Pull out a Chair & Open the Door
The devil is in the details and so is good flirting. It’s the little things that count, like pulling out the chair, taking or handing a coat, opening a door, or any other form of chivalry you can think of. Just make sure it feels natural and not over the top.
Listen, Listen, Listen
This tactic is pure gold because most people are over-obsessed with themselves and cannot listen.
- Focus on what the other side has to say.
- Reference to some of it later on.
- Ask questions on what excites the other person.
- Make friendly jokes about it.
- Follow up with new stuff you learn down the road.
Don’t Play All Cards at Once
Leave a dash of mystery, as this is something that will make the person you fancy keep coming back for more.
Intelligence is Sexy
Seduce the mind and the body will follow. You either have physical charms and sex appeal or you don’t, but sapiosexuality you can achieve no matter your looks.
Nourish your sexy brain. Read a lot. Nurture curiosity.
Gallantry Goes a Long Way but Only if Honest
Make a compliment on their clothing, perfume, bracelet, ring, watch, makeup, shoes, smile, or better off, their eyes.
Whispers & Shush
Having a casual date at the cafe, restaurant, or bar is okay, but if too loud, doing a gentle whisper can be difficult.
Wine & Dine to Romance
The playbook of gentleman flirt bows to a find dinner and a bottle of wine. Of course, cash should not be
So, How to Flirt Like a Gentleman?
Some might say easy, others might say that this is a talent. But truth is, all of us can be the gentleman type of flirter.
How? Be funny, be chivalrous, and most importantly – be the gentleman (or woman) side of you. This is the best way to capture the essence of you and to make someone fall for you. Good luck, Don Juan!