*THIS IS A GUEST POST FROM OUR FRIEND MATHEWS FROM RIPPED.ME
Is it really possible to change just like that?
I feel that there are a dozen self-help advisors and psychologists who are trying to penetrate our minds and implement the germ of success we all wish to have. The answer could be YES, but notice the ‘could’. This advice is pretty much philosophical, and perhaps that is what 21 st century people need. Everybody should be a bit of a philosopher because it is you who need to give your life a sense of purpose.
How can you change your life? What is the thing that can truly fulfill your sense of purpose? Where do success and failure come from? Does every activity count, even if it’s without aim or purpose? Spare a few minutes of your time and read these words.
Progress Is Happiness
Whether we are talking about opportunities, money, or even relationships – getting things might be exciting for a while, but it’s not what’s going to make you happy. Eventually, it will stop being exciting, unless you continue to grow. This means that happiness, contentment, and fulfillment are essentially related to progress. That is why we start thinking about how we can expand, change, improve and do what our souls desire at the beginning of a new year, but we essentially think about progressing, because progress is what makes you feel alive. The change is there, whether you like it or not, and everything changes – from world economy to your own body – without anybody asking for your opinion. However, progress is not automated, unlike change. It is something that can be put under control. What one needs to do is look at life from a different angle, make an effort and stop hoping that things will work out eventually.
Raise Your Standards
What does it mean to raise your standards? Think about it – reaching your goals is different than making a lasting change. Because you do not always achieve your goals, but you do come up with new standards.
We all have a list of SHOULDs – ‘I should get to the office earlier, I should lose some weight, I should stop procrastinating, I should work out more’, and the list goes on. However, the things from the SHOULD list usually don’t happen, just like with New Year’s resolutions – “if it happens, it’s great, but I know it’s not going to, so whatever”.
However, by making a strong resolution, deciding that something is a MUST for you and that you are the one who has to find or make a way to fulfill it is when you raise your standards. Ex-smokers and others who have managed to quit a strong habit will know what I’m talking about. It’s the moment when you say: “No more”, and it doesn’t even take any willpower. It’s a simple click in the mind when that one particular MUST gets attached to your identity.
Identity is one of the strongest forces of personality and we all act consistently with who we believe we are. Very often we create a glass ceiling that controls us. We make decisions in our youth about our capabilities, beliefs, and identity, which don’t necessarily work out for us 10, 15 or 30 years later. However, people continue to live their lives in accordance with that set of beliefs they have made decades ago, thus limiting themselves in the present. It often happens that we adapt to be a certain way in order not to fail or so that people will respect us, but it is not who we really are. The things we do and the way we behave spontaneously shows who we are.
Identity is fundamental, so when you start changing that, everything else will start to shift as well. By changing your inner game, you change your life. No, you shouldn’t, you MUST, so throw away the cigarettes, join a bodybuilding program, regulate your diet, get to bed early so you can get up early.
Make a plan.
Pay Attention to the Little Things
Success and failure don’t just show up, knocking at your door at 3:30 AM. One doesn’t experience an event that results in failure or suddenly becomes successful. Even though it looks like that in our minds, it’s actually a series of little things that matters. Failure is skipping a workout, not making a call, not checking the books, not apologizing, and not pushing yourself to do things that you don’t want to do (physically). These little things pile up and, eventually, a cataclysmic event happens. People then blame everything on that moment, but the failure is actually the result of us missing the little stuff. It’s the same story with success: it is about having a vision and making it compelling, or feeling the sense that you’re here to give something to the world and grow.
There are no right or wrong ways to perceive the world around you. There is only your way. Everything depends on your outlook on life, and a negative outlook is the first thing that one needs to overcome in order to continue progressing. Re-evaluate your skills as well as your limitations, and start fresh.